Acceptance; Jealousy
Acceptance:
To be received favorably; to be
approved of.
My thoughts:
I believe we
are all born pure and free of imperfections and free of sins. It is natural for us as human beings to want to be accepted as we are. We aren't born comparing ourselves to
others, however, somewhere along the way we begin to mark our value along the scale
of what other women look like and how they perform. When we seek
acceptance in this world whether from men, professors, parents or most likely,
other girls, we become prone to jealousy.
How many times do you find that you are comparing yourself to other girls
and finding joy in their imperfections? For example, being skinnier, having better
grades, being more athletic, whatever it may be.
**Write down 3 things you find yourself
becoming jealous over with other girls.**
Just a note: I'm going to use the phrase "comparisons fuel jealousy; jealousy fuels hatred; hatred fuels anger; and anger in turn, fuels fear" often thoughout this post so just keep it in the back of your mind and ponder on it.
So, when we
become jealous, what does that jealousy stem from? ….insecurity; And with
insecurity comes a need to be accepted. Finding
imperfections in others and longing for acceptance from others makes us forget
what’s important and all the beauty life has to offer. We spend so much time
trying to become "perfect" we forget about how important it is to love one another.
Think about it, when you have this goal to be perfect (whatever area of your life it may be in) we sometimes will forget about school work, family, friends, and how to love, but most importantly we sometimes can forget about
God. We spend so much time dwelling on being perfect rather than focusing on importance of growing to know God and His love for you.
Food for thought:
Life is so unbelievably beautiful, but why do we feel
so strongly that it has to do with us being beautiful, us being
perfect?
"The eyes of God are the eyes of acceptance despite our imperfections, despite the shortcomings, despite the mistakes. The eyes of God are the eyes of grace. - Girl Perfect"
“What does
she have that I don’t?” Do you ever remember saying this? Sometimes we
can’t escape from the comparison game. Even if we don’t want to be part of it,
even if we are content with who we are and have accepted that our differences
make us unique, we still find ourselves as women asking this question a lot.
Remember: Comparison fuels jealousy,
jealousy fuels hatred; hatred fuels anger, and anger ultimately fuels fear.
Remember in
high school when it was always the ultimate goal to be “the best?” Whether it
was with sports, beauty, academics, music, whatever it was. Do you also remember there usually was that group of
girls who hated you if you were "perfect" but also hate you if you weren't perfect? Some of them probably were even around to broadcast and announce every mistake you made and just
waiting for you to mess up. Girls can be catty and cruel at times, but the
saddest part about it is, we as women know more than anyone how badly we all
just want to be accepted - some way, so how.
As a christian woman, I've come to recognize we all need to stop this comparison game and “take the high road.”
"The true acceptance does not stem from comparison. True acceptance comes from looking elsewhere for our value – not from using other girls to measure our worth. - Girl Perfect"
When Jesus
was alive, the Pharisees and teachers of Jewish law, the ones who claimed to be
the holiest and the most religious were actually the people who hated Jesus
and in the end were the ones who had killed him. There were a lot of reasons for this, but
mostly, their comparisons led to jealousy, then to hatred, anger and finally to
fear. Jesus was too perfect for them. When they
compared themselves to him, they fell short, so they became jealous. They tried
to trick Jesus and trap him, but they couldn’t. So, they rejected him, beat
him, spat on him and then came to murdered him. Simply put, they were afraid of what they didn’t understand. They were afraid of perfection: His perfect love,
His perfect relationship with God. People will hate you and you will tend to
hate others if we think the other is perfect… when in reality, none of us are.
That's the reality of it all, Jesus Christ is the only man to ever walk this earth to be completely pure and
free from sin. Jesus, the son of God is the only one that is perfect.
The story of
the women caught in adultery:
The hypocrites pointed fingers at the women caught in adultery because that took the focus off of themselves. It’s like they almost said “Lets find the girl who screwed up the most and make it public so everyone will look at her and not us." Sound familiar?
The hypocrites pointed fingers at the women caught in adultery because that took the focus off of themselves. It’s like they almost said “Lets find the girl who screwed up the most and make it public so everyone will look at her and not us." Sound familiar?
Jesus never
retaliated when the Pharisees accused, challenged, and ultimately crucified him
because his need for acceptance didn’t stem from them. He didn’t look to them
for acceptance; he looked to the Father. His natural human longing to be
accepted was completely fulfilled in his relationship with God!
The eyes of
God are they eyes of acceptance despite your imperfections, despite your
shortcomings, despite your mistakes. The eyes of God are the eyes of grace. As
women who follow God, or at least who search for Him, we must take on the eyes of
Grace. If Jesus – being perfect in every way, looks at imperfect people with
eyes of acceptance, shouldn’t you and I begin to look at others this way too?
If he isn’t going to condemn, who are we to judge.
When our
need for acceptance is fulfilled through imperfect people you will always find
yourself wanting more. And when your value is based on the comparison scale,
you will always find yourself unsatisfied. God made us exactly how we are,
he knows every fiber of our being, he knows us at the very core of our hearts
that we want to be accepted more than anything. But please, please don't forget, when Jesus went
to the cross for us, in essence by doing so, he was saying “I accept you.”
Every single
one of us falls short of perfection. I want you to be free from comparisons. I
want you to be free and to be the women God made us all out to be.
Psalms 139
says, God made us each individually; with unique bodies, talents, gifts, and
plans for our lives. The differences between us all are purposeful – they do not
make some of us “more than” or “less than" one another.
"13For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful,
I know that full well. 15 My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. 16 Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. 17 How precious to me are your thoughts, God! How vast is the sum of them! 18Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand—when I awake, I am still with you. 19If only you, God, would slay the wicked! Away from me, you who are bloodthirsty! 20They speak of you with evil intent; your adversaries misuse your name. 21 Do I not hate those who hate you, Lord, and abhor those who are in rebellion against you? 22I have nothing but hatred for them; I count them my enemies. 23Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. 24See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. - Psalms 139:13-24"
When we can
look at one another person through the eyes of grace, those differences, become
beautiful expressions of God’s handprint on Earth. I am not afraid of the
qualities someone has over me that might make them more beautiful or smarter
than I am, I am grateful for what you have been given, and I hope you will use
the gifts God has given you to bring more grace to the world around you.
Related Scripture:
"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mothers womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. – Psalm 139:13-14"
"There is no difference, for all have sinned and fall short of glory of God, and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus. – Romans 3:22-24"
"We all stumble in many ways. If anyone is never at fault in what he says, he is a perfect man. – James 3:2"
"Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn and you will not be condemned. Forgive and you will be forgiven. – Luke 6:37"
